Genesis 31

Life isn’t easy, and what life does to us depends a great deal on what life finds in us. Jacob could have easily left his family problems behind, but he had to take along his biggest problem—himself. During the next twenty years (31:41), Jacob would experience many painful trials in Laban’s household, but in the end, he would become God’s man to accomplish God’s will.

However, don’t read these chapters as an ancient story about one man’s family. This is a contemporary story about all of us who are making important decisions on the road of life, decisions that determine character and destiny.

Jacob had been away from home twenty years, and it was time he returned to his roots. His father Isaac and his brother Esau were still alive, and Jacob had some “unfinished business” to settle with both of them.

Escape (vv. 1–21). How did the Lord tell Jacob that it was time to leave? The same way He leads His people today: through the inner witness in the heart, the outward circumstances of life, and the truth of His Word.

Six years before, God had put the desire in Jacob’s heart to return to his own country (30:25), and that desire had never left him. While not every longing in the human heart is necessarily the voice of God (Jer. 17:9), and we must carefully exercise discernment, the Lord often begins to speak to us in that way.

Along with the desire within us, God also directs us as He did Jacob through the circumstances around us (Gen. 31:1–2). Toward the end of those six critical years, Jacob noticed that his in-laws weren’t as friendly toward him as before, largely because of the increase in his wealth. Circumstances aren’t always the finger of God pointing out His way (Acts 27:1–15), but they can be significant indicators of God’s will. When God wants to move us, He occasionally makes us uncomfortable and “stirs up its nest” (Deut. 32:11).

The third and most important way God leads us is through His Word. God had already spoken to Jacob in a dream (Gen. 31:10–13), but Jacob remained in Padan Aram to acquire his wealth. Then God said to him, “Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you” (v. 3). As the story of Jacob unfolds, you will discover that God spoke to him at every important crisis in his life: leaving home (28:12–15), returning home (31:1–13), meeting Esau (32:24ff.), visiting Bethel (35:1ff.), and moving to Egypt (46:1–4). God leads us in the paths of righteousness if we’re willing to follow (Ps. 23:3).

But Jacob took time to share his thinking with Rachel and Leah, for after all, he was asking them to leave their people and home and go with him to another land and people. Even though the Word of God is our primary source of wisdom in making decisions (119:105), it’s good for us to consult with others and weigh their counsel, particularly those closest to us. Both Rachel and Leah agreed that their father hadn’t been fair with Jacob or loving toward them, and that it was time to make a new beginning. Not only had he treated their husband like a common slave, but also he had used up their own dowries (Gen. 31:14–15).

But instead of facing Laban honestly and trusting the Lord to keep His promises and work things out, Jacob fled with his family like a criminal escaping justice. This was an act of fear and unbelief, not an act of faith; for “whoever believes will not act hastily” (Isa. 28: nkjv). In fact, Jacob later admitted to Laban that he had departed secretly and quickly because he was afraid (Gen. 31:31). It isn’t enough to know and do the will of God; we must also do His will in the way He wants it done, the way that will glorify Him the most.

Confrontation (vv. 22–42). Since a three-days’ journey lay between Laban’s settlement and that of Jacob (30:36), it took that long for the word to get to Laban that his son-in-law had bolted, and by the time Laban got the news, Jacob was far away. It took a week for Laban to catch up with the fleeing family, and Jacob and Laban finally met in the hill country of Gilead.

Laban tried to get the upper hand immediately by rebuking Jacob for the way he had stolen away from Padan Aram. Imagine this clever schemer asking Jacob, “Why did you run off secretly and deceive me?” (31:27). Deceive him indeed! Laban had spent twenty years deceiving Jacob! But for all his blustering, Laban was helpless to harm Jacob because the Lord had warned him to be careful (vv. 24, 29). God had promised to protect Jacob and He kept His promise.

But the thing that angered Laban most was the fact that somebody had stolen his household gods, and he was sure the guilty person was in Jacob’s family. He was right; it was Rachel who did the deed (v. 19), but Jacob didn’t know it. The fact that Laban was distressed shows that his faith was in idols and not in the true God whom Jacob served. By pretending to be unclean because of her monthly period, Rachel escaped detection and further trouble with her father.

Watching his devious father-in-law arrogantly search through all the family’s personal possessions made Jacob angry, and rightly so, and feelings were now released from his heart that had been buried there for twenty years. Jacob spoke openly of Laban’s underhanded practices, how he had deceived Jacob, given him the hardest work, and changed his wages many times. God had blessed Laban because of Jacob, but Laban had never thanked either the Lord or Jacob, nor had he repaid Jacob for the animals he replaced at his own expense.

But the most important thing in Jacob’s speech was the way he gave honor to the Lord: “Unless the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed. God has seen my affliction and the labor of my hands, and rebuked you last night” (v. 42 nkjv). What a testimony from a man who was inclined to give in to others and do what he was told!

Truce (vv. 43–55). God’s warning in the dream and Jacob’s forceful defense told Laban that he was beaten, but the old deceiver put on a brave front just the same and tried to make everybody think he was a peacemaker. Both families gathered stones and ate a meal together on those stones as a symbol of the agreement they had reached. Eating a meal together is an Eastern custom when creating a binding agreement (26:26–33).

The pile of stones was to stand as a witness to the agreement they had made, but it was also to be a “watchtower” (Mizpah) or boundary marker that neither Jacob nor Laban was allowed to cross. Actually, their “agreement” wasn’t a declaration of peace; it was only a truce that could be broken if either party violated the terms.

It’s too bad the so-called “Mizpah benediction” is still found in many Christian hymnals (31:49), because what Laban said to Jacob wasn’t a benediction at all (vv. 48–49). To paraphrase, he said: “We’re separating from one another, but God is watching both of us. If you mistreat my daughters, I won’t know it but God will. So, be careful!” Laban didn’t see the God of Abraham and Isaac as a gracious Lord who had brought them together but as a heavenly Judge who would keep them both from harming each other. In spite of their oaths, Jacob and Laban didn’t trust each other, so they had to trust the Lord to keep them from harming each other. Mizpah was a monument to suspicion and fear, not to love and trust.

Jacob closed the day by offering sacrifices to the Lord and inviting his relatives to share in the sacrificial meal. He wanted the God of his fathers to be honored before this pagan family that had caused him so much grief. The next morning, Laban said his farewells and returned home, and a long and difficult chapter in Jacob’s life came to a close, a chapter in which God was with him from beginning to end (vv. 5, 24, 29, 42). But a new chapter would soon open in which his own brother Esau would play a prominent part.

Life isn’t easy, but if we submit to God’s disciplines and let Him guide us in our decisions, we can endure the difficulties triumphantly and develop the kind of character that glorifies God. We can conquer by claiming promises like 1 Peter 5:10: “But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you” (nkjv).

The God of Jacob never fails.