Ajudge speaks some words and a guilty prisoner is taken to a cell on death row. A gossip makes a phone call and a reputation is blemished or perhaps ruined. A cynical professor makes a snide remark in a lecture and a student’s faith is destroyed.
Never underestimate the power of words. For every word in Hitler’s book Mein Kampf, 125 people died in World War II. Solomon was right: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21). No wonder James compared the tongue to a destroying fire, a dangerous beast, and a deadly poison (James 3:5–8). Speech is a matter of life or death.
When you summarize what Proverbs teaches about human speech, you end up with four important propositions: (1) speech is an awesome gift from God; (2) speech can be used to do good; (3) speech can be used to do evil; and (4) only God can help us use speech to do good.
1. Speech Is an Awesome Gift from God Our older daughter’s first complete sentence was, “Where Daddy go?” Considering how full my schedule was in those days, it was an appropriate question for her to ask. But, who taught Carolyn how to understand and speak those words? And who explained to her how to put together a sentence that asked a question?
“The ability [to speak] comes so naturally that we are apt to forget what a miracle it is,” writes Professor Steven Pinker. “Language is not a cultural artifact that we learn the way we learn to tell time or how the federal government works. Instead, it is a distinct piece of the biological makeup of our brains.” Christian believers would say that when God created our first parents, He gave them the ability to speak and understand words. Made in the image of a God who communicates, human beings have the wonderful gift of speech. “The answer of the tongue is from the Lord” (16:1).
God spoke to Adam and gave him instructions about life in the garden, which he later shared with Eve; they both understood what God told them (Gen. 2:15–17; 3:2–3). Adam was able to name the animals (2:18–20) and to give a descriptive name to his bride (vv. 22–24). Satan used words to deceive Adam and Eve (3:1–5), and Eve must have used words to persuade her husband to eat (v. 6). The Garden of Eden was a place of communication because God gave Adam and Eve the ability to understand and use words.
The images used in Proverbs for human speech indicate the value of this divine gift that we not only take for granted but too often waste and abuse. Wise words are compared to gold and silver. “The tongue of the just is like choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth” (Prov. 10:20). “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear” (25:11–12 niv). Our words ought to be as balanced, beautiful, and valuable as the most precious jewelry; we ought to work as hard as the craftsman to make them that way. (See Eccl. 12:9–11.)
Words are also like refreshing water. “The mouth of a righteous man is a well [fountain] of life” (Prov. 10:11). “The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook” (18: nkjv). When we listen to and appropriate the words of a godly person, it’s like taking a drink of refreshing water. “The law of the wise is a fountain of life” (13:14), and “the fear of the Lord is a fountain of life” (14:27). But it isn’t enough for the wise to speak to us; we must be prepared to listen. “Understanding is a wellspring of life to him who has it” (16: nkjv). The soil of the heart must be prepared and the seed of the Word planted, or the water won’t do us much good.
Right words are like nourishing, health-giving food. “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” (15: niv). What a wonderful thing it is to say the right words and help to heal a broken spirit! The phrase “tree of life” means “source of life” and goes back to Genesis 2:9. “The lips of the righteous feed many” (Prov. 10:21; see 18:20). “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones” (16: nkjv; see Ps. 119:103). “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12: niv; see 12:14; 13:2).
The apostle Paul considered biblical doctrine to be “healthy doctrine” (“sound doctrine,” kjv) that nourishes the believer’s spiritual life. He warned Timothy to beware of anything that was “contrary to sound [healthy] doctrine” (1 Tim. 1:10), and he reminded him that the time would come when professed Christians wouldn’t “endure sound [healthy] doctrine” (2 Tim. 4:3). Spiritual leaders are to use sound doctrine to exhort the careless and rebuke the deceivers (Titus 1:9–10; 2:1). The words of Jesus are “wholesome [healthy] words,” but the words of false teachers are “sick” (1 Tim. 6:3–4, see niv). “Their teaching will spread like gangrene” (2 Tim. 2: niv), but God’s words are “life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh” (Prov. 4: nkjv).
The Christian who recognizes how awesome is the gift of speech will not abuse that gift but will dedicate it to the glory of God. The New Testament scholar Bishop B. F. Westcott wrote, “Every year makes me tremble at the daring with which people speak of spiritual things.” We all need to heed the words of Solomon: “Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; therefore let your words be few” (Eccl. 5: nkjv).
2. Speech Can Be Used to Do Good No matter what may be wrong with us physically, when the doctor examines us, he or she often says, “Stick out your tongue!” This principle applies to the Christian life, for what the tongue does reveals what the heart contains. Inconsistent speech bears witness to a divided heart, for it is “out of the abundance of the heart” that the mouth speaks (Matt. 12:34). “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing,” wrote James. “My brethren, these things ought not so to be” (James 3:10).
What we say can help or hurt other people. When we reviewed some of the images of speech found in Proverbs, we learned that our words can bring beauty and value, nourishment, refreshment, and healing to the inner person. But the awesome power of words reveals itself in other positive ways.
Our words can bring peace instead of war. “A soft [gentle] answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15: nkjv). “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel” (v. 18 niv). Solomon isn’t advising us to compromise the truth and say that what’s wrong is really right. Rather, he’s counseling us to have a gentle spirit and a conciliatory attitude when we disagree with others. This can defuse the situation and make it easier for us to settle the matter peacefully.
Once again, the key issue is the condition of the heart. If there’s war in the heart, then our words will be destructive missiles instead of healing medicines. “But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth” (James 3: nkjv). Earthly wisdom advises us to fight for our rights and make every disagreement a win/lose situation, but heavenly wisdom seeks for a win/win situation that strengthens the “unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3). “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy” (James 3: nkjv). Applying this wisdom means taking the attitude that’s described in Philippians 2:1–12, the attitude that was practiced by Jesus Christ.
Our words can help restore those who have sinned. “As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient [listening] ear” (Prov. 25:12). It isn’t easy to reprove those who are wrong, and we need to do it in a meek and loving spirit (Gal. 6:1); yet it must be done. To flatter those who are disobeying God’s Word will only confirm them in their sin and make us their accomplices. “He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue” (28: nkjv). “He who keeps instruction is in the way of life, but he who refuses reproof goes astray” (10: nkjv).
In Matthew 18:15–20 Jesus explains the procedure for helping restore a sinning brother or sister. First, we must talk to the offender personally and confidentially, trusting God to change the heart. If that fails, we must try again, this time taking witnesses with us. If even that fails, then what was confidential must become public as we share the matter with the church. If the offender fails to hear the church, then he or she must be excluded from the church as though the person were not a believer at all. Of course, during this whole procedure, we must be much in prayer, seeking the Lord’s help for ourselves and for those we’re trying to help.
Our words can instruct the ignorant. “The lips of the wise disperse knowledge” (Prov. 15:7). “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction” (16: niv). While there are many good and helpful things to learn in this brief life that we have on earth, the most important is the wisdom of God found in the Word of God (8:6–8). “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding” (4: nkjv). After we acquire wisdom, we must share it with others, for “wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning” (10: niv).
Whether it’s parents teaching their children (Deut. 6:1–13), older women teaching the younger women (Titus 2:3–5), or spiritual leaders in the church teaching the next generation of believers (2 Tim. 2:2), accurate instruction is important to the ongoing of the work of God. Every local church is but one generation short of extinction; if we don’t teach the next generation the truth of God, they may not have a church.
In spite of all the books and periodicals that are published and all the Christian programs that are broadcast, we’re facing today a famine of God’s Word (Amos 8:11). People attend church services and special meetings of all kinds, purchase Bibles and books, and listen to Christian radio and TV. But there seems to be little evidence that all this “learning” is making a significant difference in families, churches, and society as a whole. Many professed believers are “spiritually illiterate” when it comes to the basics of the Christian life. We desperately need men who will obey 2 Timothy 2: and women who will obey Titus 2:3–5, or we will end up with an uninstructed church.
Our words can rescue the perishing. “A true witness delivers souls, but a deceitful witness speaks lies” (Prov. 14: nkjv). While this verse can be applied to our own personal witness for Christ in rescuing the lost (Acts 1:8), the context is that of a court of law. An accused criminal in Israel could be condemned on the testimony of two or three witnesses; if the case involved a capital crime, the witnesses had to be the first to cast the stones (Deut. 17:6–7). The law forbade the bearing of false witness (Ex. 20:16; 23:2; Deut. 5:20), and anyone found guilty of perjury was given the punishment that the accused would have received (Deut. 19:16–18).
If my testimony could save an innocent person from death, and I refused to speak, then my silence would be a terrible sin. “Deliver those who are drawn toward death, and hold back those stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, ‘Surely we did not know this,’ does not He who weighs the hearts consider it? He who keeps your soul, does He not know it? And will He not render to each man according to his deeds?” (Prov. 24:11–12 nkjv). Whether it’s rescuing prisoners from execution or lost sinners from eternal judgment, we can’t plead ignorance if we do nothing.
Our words can encourage those who are burdened. “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad” (12: nkjv). “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word!” (15: niv). When we’re walking in the Spirit daily and being taught by the Lord, we’ll know how “to speak a word in season to him who is weary” (Isa. 50:4). “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Prov. 16: niv).
The Royal British Navy has a regulation that reads, “No officer shall speak discouragingly to another officer in the discharge of his duties.” We need to practice that regulation in our homes and churches! Each of us needs to be a Barnabas, a “son of encouragement” (Acts 4:36–37). Near the close of his ministry, a famous British preacher of the Victorian age said, “If I had my ministry to do over, I would preach more to broken hearts.” Jesus came “to heal the brokenhearted” (Luke 4:18), and we can continue that ministry today with words of encouragement and hope.
3. Speech Can Be Used to Do Evil From Satan’s speech to Eve in Genesis 3 to the propaganda of the false prophet in the book of Revelation, the Bible warns us that words can be used to deceive, control, and destroy. It is estimated that the average American is exposed to over fifteen hundred “promotion bites” in the course of a day, some of them subliminal and undetected, but all of them powerful. Whether it’s political “double-speak,” seductive advertising, or religious propaganda, today’s “spin doctors” know how to manipulate people with words.
But it isn’t only some of the professional promoters who are guilty. There are many ways that you and I can turn words into weapons and damage others.
We hurt others by lying. “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment” (Prov. 12: niv). “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but they that deal truly are his delight” (12:22; and see 6:16–17). Solomon warns us against bearing false witness and violating the ninth commandment (Ex. 20:16). (See Prov. 14:5, 25; 19:5, 9, 28; 21:28; 24:28.) When words can’t be trusted, then society starts to fall apart. Contracts are useless, promises are vain, the judicial system becomes a farce, and all personal relationships are suspect. “Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow is the man who gives false testimony against his neighbor” (25: niv).
One of the marks of liars is that they enjoy listening to lies. “A wicked man listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue” (17: niv). It’s a basic rule of life that the ears hear what the heart loves, so beware of people who have an appetite for gossip and lies.
“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips” (24: niv; see 27:6). A kiss is a sign of affection and trust, and God wants His people to “[speak] the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15). It has well been said that love without truth is hypocrisy and truth without love is brutality, and we don’t want to be guilty of either sin. The world affirms, “Honesty is the best policy,” but as the British prelate Richard Whateley said, “He who acts on that principle is not an honest man.” We should be honest because we’re honest people in our hearts, walking in the fear of the Lord, and not because we’re shrewd bargainers who follow a successful policy.
We hurt others by gossiping. “You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people” (Lev. 19: nkjv). “Talebearer” is the translation of a Hebrew word that means “to go about,” and is probably derived from a word meaning “merchant.” The talebearer goes about peddling gossip! “A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter” (Prov. 11: nkjv). Gossips flatter people by sharing secrets with them, but to be one of their “customers” is dangerous. “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips” (20: nkjv).
The gossip “eats” and enjoys his secrets like you and I eat and enjoy food. “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts” (18: niv; see 26:22). People who feed on gossip only crave more, and the only remedy is for them to develop an appetite for God’s truth (2:10). We must beware of gossips because they do a great deal of damage. “An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire. A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends” (16:27–28 nkjv; see 17:9). “Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases” (26: nkjv).
We hurt others by flattery. The English word flatter comes from a French word that means “to stroke or caress with the flat of the hand.” Flatterers compliment you profusely, appealing to your ego, but their praise is far from sincere. They pat you on the back only to locate a soft spot in which to stick a knife! “A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet” (29: nkjv).
“A lying tongue hates those who are crushed by it, and a flattering mouth works ruin” (26: nkjv). Satan flattered Eve when he said, “You shall be as God” (Gen. 3:5). In Proverbs, the prostitute seduces her prey by using flattery (Prov. 5:3; 7:5, 21). Some people flatter the rich because they hope to get something from them (14:20; 19:4, 6).
Most of us secretly enjoy flattery and dislike rebuke, yet rebuke does us more good (27:6; 28:23). There is certainly a place for honest appreciation and praise, to the glory of God (1 Thess. 5:12–13), but we must beware of people who give us insincere praise with selfish motives, especially if they begin their flattery first thing in the morning (Prov. 26:24–25). If it weren’t for our pride, flattery wouldn’t affect us. We privately enjoy hearing somebody agree with what we think of ourselves!
We hurt others by speaking in anger. “An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins” (29: niv). Angry people keep adding fuel to the fire (26:21) instead of trying to find ways to put the fire out. Many people carry anger in their hearts while they outwardly pretend to be at peace with their friends, and they cover their anger with hypocritical words. “Fervent lips with a wicked heart are like earthenware covered with silver dross” (26: nkjv). If we’re inwardly angry at people, all our profuse professions of friendship are but a thin veneer over common clay. “Speak when you are angry,” wrote Ambrose Bierce, “and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
Instead of covering our anger with cheap dross, we should cover others’ sins with sincere love. “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins” (10: nkjv; 1 Peter 4:8). Love doesn’t condone sin or encourage sinners to try to hide their sins from the Lord (Prov. 28:13; 1 John 1:9), but love doesn’t tell the sin to others. (See Gen. 9:18–29.) If I’m angry with someone and he sins, I’ll be tempted to spread the news as a way of getting even.
We hurt others by impetuous speech. “Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Prov. 29: nkjv). “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him” (18: nkjv; note v. 17). “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil” (15: nkjv; see 10:19). “Reckless words pierce like a sword” (12: niv). But reckless words not only hurt others, they can also hurt us because we utter them. “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles” (21: nkjv; see 13:3). This is especially true when we make rash promises to the Lord or to others (20:25; 22:26–27; see Eccl. 5:1–5).
We hurt others by talking too much. “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Prov. 10: nkjv). “The mouth of fools pours forth foolishness” (15:2). People who discipline their tongue can control their whole body (James 3:1–2). There is “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (Eccl. 3:7), and the wise know how to hold their peace (Prov. 11:12–13; 17:28).
We hurt others by talking instead of working. “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty” (14: niv). Mankind seems to be divided into three classes: dreamers who have great ideas but never accomplish much, talkers who exercise their jaw muscles and vocal cords but not their hands and feet, and doers who talk little but with God’s help turn their dreams into realities.
4. Only God Can Help Us Use the Gift of Speech for Good When David prayed, “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips” (Ps. 141:3), he was doing a wise thing and setting a good example. All of God’s people need to surrender their bodies to the Lord (Rom. 12:1), and this includes the lips and the tongue. We must also yield our hearts to the Lord, because what comes out of the mouth originates in the heart.
Proverbs 16: has been a great help to me, especially when I’ve been called upon to give counsel: “To man belong the plans of the hearts, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue” (niv). When you couple this with 19:21, it gives you great encouragement: “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (niv). On many occasions, I’ve had to make decisions about complex matters, and the Lord has given me just the words to speak. However, if my heart had not been in touch with His Word and yielded to His will, the Spirit might not have been able to direct me. If we make our plans the best we can and commit them to the Lord, He’ll guide us in what we say and do.
God also gives us “spiritual radar” so that we can assess a situation and make the right reply. “The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable” (10:32). “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is” (15: nkjv; see Isa. 50:4–6). “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil” (Prov. 15: nkjv). There is beauty and value in the “word fitly spoken” (25:11–12).
People who speak wisely, saying the right thing at the right time in the right way, are people who store God’s truth in their hearts. “Wisdom is found on the lips of him who has understanding” (10: nkjv), and that understanding comes from the Word of God. “Wise people store up knowledge” (10: nkjv); they are “filled richly” with the Word of God (Col. 3:16). “The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips” (Prov. 16: nkjv). If we devote our hearts to serious study of the Word, even while we’re sharing the truth with others, God will teach us more of His truth. I have had this happen while ministering the Word, and it’s a wonderful experience of God’s goodness.
One of my schoolteachers used to say, “Empty barrels make the most noise,” and she was right. Too often in church board meetings and business meetings, those who talk the most have the least to say. People who don’t prepare their hearts for such meetings are making themselves available to become the devil’s tools for hindering God’s work. If we’re filled with the Word and led by the Spirit, we’ll be a part of the answer and not a part of the problem.
Have you heard the fable of the king and the menu? A king once asked his cook to prepare for him the best dish in the world, and he was served a dish of tongue. The king then asked for the worst dish in the world, and again was served tongue.
“Why do you serve me the same food as both the best and the worst?” the perplexed monarch asked.
“Because, your majesty,” the cook replied, “the tongue is the best of things when used wisely and lovingly, but it is the worst of things when used carelessly and unkindly.”
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (18: nkjv).
“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life” (10: niv).
Choose life!