“I, whither shall I cause my shame to go?”
The full verse · 2 Samuel 13:13 · KJV
And I, whither shall I cause my to ? and as for thee, thou shalt be as of the in . Now therefore, I pray thee, unto the ; for he will not me from thee.
Asked by
Asked to
Amnon, David’s firstborn son and Tamar’s half-brother, who was attempting to force himself upon her.
Why It Was Asked
The purpose behind the questionTamar appeals to Amnon’s conscience by forcing him to consider the irreversible social destruction his actions would cause her, making the consequences personal and unavoidable rather than abstract.
The Response
What Scripture recordsAmnon completely ignored Tamar’s question and plea, refusing to listen to her voice. He overpowered her physically and raped her despite her protests (2 Samuel 13:14).
The Bigger Picture
Where this fits in God's storyTamar’s question exposes the crushing weight of sexual violation in her culture. The Hebrew kelimmah refers not to internal guilt but to external, visible disgrace that the community would impose. By asking where she could carry her shame, Tamar reveals that no hiding place existed, no ritual, no sacrifice, no social mechanism could restore a defiled virgin’s standing. Her question format rather than a simple statement forces Amnon to visualize her ruined future, appealing to whatever conscience he might possess. The theological weight here is profound: Tamar becomes a living picture of irreversible human brokenness that only divine intervention can heal.
Your shame does not have to be your identity. Tamar’s desperate question reveals a world where violation marked victims permanently, but Christ offers what ancient Israel could not: full restoration of dignity and honor. If you carry disgrace from what others have done to you, know that Jesus specializes in reversing irreversible shame (Isaiah 61:7). He does not minimize your pain or rush your healing, but He promises that shame will not have the final word. Bring your kelimmah to the One who bore shame for you and rose victorious over it.
Built from the biblical text and checked against trusted commentaries and lexicons. References & Sources
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